I remember when I was younger and how much I wished I was older which I’m sure we all have felt. It seemed like the coolest thing to be able to buy anything you want, whenever you wanted and being in control of yourself instead of your parents. I grew up with two older sisters and I always copied their behavior. I wanted to be just like them because they were older than me and inspired me in many ways.

Growing up, I was always such a “diva” as my mom would call it. I was very fortunate and I realize now how spoiled I was by my parents. For twelve years, I was the youngest kid so I was treated as their “little baby” and I was protected, safe and loved. I couldn’t ask for more and yet I still looked forward to being an adult and independent.

Now, as I’m writing this, I’m eighteen years old. I remember being excited for this age because it seemed so mature and I’d be able to drive, go shopping, vote, go to college and move out. However, now that it’s my reality, I find myself missing my childhood and wishing to be that little girl again. One of the responsibilities I didn’t think about having to do when I was older was getting a job. Everything costs money and unfortunately money doesn’t fall from a tree. I eventually wanted to help my parents out because I learned overtime about the importance of money and if I wanted to be able to do all the things I wanted to do when I was six, then I would have to work for it.

Last year, I got my first job and I was a tutor at an elementary school. Ever since I was younger, I’ve wanted to be a teacher and I can’t believe that next year, I’ll be in college to actually become one. It honestly makes me so sad knowing that my friends and I may drift apart as we go to different colleges. I wish I could stay in the moment and I know these memories with them is something I will miss.

Earlier this year, I got my drivers license and my first car. It was such an exciting moment for me. However, every morning when I drive to school alone, I think about when my dad would take me to school, he’d pick me up Dunkin’ and we’d jam to the radio. That is something I won’t be able to relive because now I’m the one behind the wheel.

Today, I find myself having many stressors like school, work, family, etc which are apart of my responsibilities. When you’re a kid, everything is done for you and you don’t make as many decisions because you may not know what’s best for you. I still feel like I don’t even know what’s best for me and I find myself searching for my mom in times of distress.

On the bright side of all of this, I do see turning eighteen as a privilege and I know I will go through obstacles that maybe I wouldn’t have experienced in adolescence, but they’re apart of life and growing up.