Being the oldest child in a Mexican household is a responsibility that often feels both like a badge of honor or a heavyweight pressure. In my household, the eldest child is not just a sister/sibling; they are a caretaker, role model, teacher, and most of the time a second parent. This job comes with unspoken expectations that can make it difficult to express feelings like stress, exhaustion, or even anger, as these emotions are often seen as a sign of weakness, selfishness, or even laziness.
One of the most common challenging aspects of being the eldest is the constant need to take care of my 2 younger siblings. Whether it’s helping prepare food, making sure they are clean, or resolving constant play-fighting arguments, I am always being called. My parents work tirelessly to provide for us, so I step in where they can’t, but this also means that my needs always come last. For example, I find myself waiting until my siblings are asleep before I can focus on my own schoolwork. Another example is I can’t have “The High School Experience” due to always being home to take care of my siblings. As my siblings rest, for me it’s the only time the house is actually quiet enough for me to concentrate. These late nights are my stolen moments of peace, but they come at the cost of my rest. There are days when I finish all my work at night but the next day, during school I am so tired.
As the oldest, I feel the pressure of being the example, especially as the first generation in, my family to finish high school and soon attend college. I know they’re my siblings are watching, learning, and forming their own habits based on seeing me, but there are times were I want to form my own habits, and not hear the constant reminder “Eres el ejemplo de tus hermanos” (you are the example for your sibling). If I fail, I feel as though I’m failing them too. This responsibility pushes me to excel in school and in life, but it also adds stress. I can’t let my siblings see me struggle because I also want them to believe they can succeed.
My family means everything to me. I know the sacrifices my parents made for me and my siblings, and even if it is stressful and took a part of me not wanting to have children soon, I take pride in the role I play. Yet there are moments when I wish I could voice my opinion. I love my siblings and I want to see them thrive, I love the unforgettable moments I’ve seen as they are growing up. That is where I do love being the oldest. Being the oldest is a role of love and responsibility, but it’s also one of silent endurance.
